Hi – my name is Jenny and I am the Life Coach at Copthorne Prep.
If you have read the previous weeks’ blogs, can you tell which is your child’s ‘lead’ style? (we all tend to be a ‘blend’ of DIS & C, but for ease, let’s just focus on their most obvious traits).
So, your child might be an ‘I’ (for ‘Influencing’)? – Inspirational, in-a-conversation, Interactive, Impulsive,
Impressionable, Interested in people, … do they talk a lot? Do they have many friends?… do they love ‘play’?… do they sometimes thing talking and doing are the same thing?! … can they be high-as-a-kite or really low? Do they hate being ignored? Are they upbeat, funny, positive? Are they prone to exaggerate? Do they make the most of a ‘drama? Are they good at motivating others to do things?
Parenting tip for an I child …
Your parenting style will probably be determined by your personality style, but here are a few general tips …
Help your child with more structured tasks, planning and time management: reward things like being ready on time, use charts and checklists (with rewards and verbal praise – but for the behaviour rather than a result e.g. praise effort “this score shows how much you have concentrated. Well done for great focus!”), give them chores that encourage organisation and structure e.g. tidying your room. Encourage them to finish what they have started and acknowledge sustained focus.
Help them to listen more: often, the I child is so intent on ‘being noticed’ and making others laugh that they often forget to stop talking! Even when they are quiet they are probably thinking about what they are going to say next and that brings attention back to them. ‘Active listening’ means they focus on the person talking. Ask them to
demonstrate their listening by repeating back what has been said …”can you remind me … what did I just say?”
Don’t be distant, impersonal or give your child ‘the silent treatment’: rejection is the ultimate fear of the I child and creates huge internal stress.
Next week the ‘S’ child …